Women

A beautiful woman is a paradise to the eyes

and a curse to the purse.

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A career woman has to look like a LADY,

act like MAN

and work like a DOG !!

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A man of quality is never threatened by a woman of equality.

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A woman is like a teabag...

You never know how strong she is

until you dip her in hot water.

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A woman who seeks to be equal to men lacks ambition.

A woman's best accessory is a well dressed man.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's....she changes it more often !!

A woman's place is in control.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

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After God made man...he said

"I can do better that that !".

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Ashes to ashes,

Dust to dust.

If it weren't from women...

Men's things would rust !

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Can you imagine a world without men?

No crime and lots of happy fat women.

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For every woman who makes a fool out of some man;

there's another who makes a man out of a fool.

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He's my comfort, my inspiration, my love.

But I am the captain of my soul.

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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I don't have hot flashes....I have power surges !!

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I'd like to be the girl

who used to be me.

(quote from the movie "Shirley Valentine")

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I have PMS and ESP....

that makes me a b****...

who knows it all...!!

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If it came out of a woman...you'd better believe it...!!

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If men are God's gift to women....

God must really like gag gifts !!

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If sweetness fails and tears don't work....NAG !!

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color !!

If woman's work is never done...why start?

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If you can't dazzle them with diamonds....

then baffle 'em with bull !

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If you want something said...ask a man;

if you want something done....ask a woman.

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I'm allowed to talk until I'm understood !!

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It is true that God made men before women,

but it also true that he made a rough draft

before a masterpiece.

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It's the good girls who keep the diaries.

The bad girls never have the time.

(Tallulah Bankhead)

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Man has his will...

But, Woman has her way.

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Men are a collective hallucination of women.

It's like when a group of crackpots gets together

on a hilltop and sees flying saucers.

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No man is a match for a woman's tears.

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One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy

can make a woman gain five pounds.

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She who wants a knight in shining armor....

must clean up after the horse.

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Some people say I'm a grumpy, mean, old witch.

That's not true.

I have the heart of a kind and gentle soul....

in a jar on my desk.

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Some women dream of a night on the town,

of diamonds, of trips around the world.

Me....

I'd settle for a chance at the

remote control every now and again...!!

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Sure God created man before woman

but then you always make a rough draft

before the masterpiece.

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The man who says "it can't be done"....

should not interrupt the woman who is doing it....!!

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The reason God made Woman last

is so he wouldn't have any advice while creating man.

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There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.

Neither one works !!

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Whatever a woman does,

she must do twice as well as a man

to be considered half as good...

Luckily, this is NOT difficult !!

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Whatever women do

they must do twice as well as men

to be thought half as good.

Luckily, this is not difficult.

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Woman, with out her, man is nothing.

Women are meant to be loved....not to be understood.

Women....can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em...

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